Happy Father's Day

I would like to start by expressing my sincere respect and admiration for all of the good dad's reading this. Involved fathers are akin to the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae as far as I am concerned. Let me explain:

Fatherless children are Ephialtes the traitor (we will be using the film for this metaphor, not the historical traitor). They don't quite know who they are, they can be besieged by inferiority complexes, they are missing the love and acceptance that their heart yearns for. They don't have discipline, don't understand that the world doesn't conform to their perspective. They desire a woman, but don't have a successful model for what a healthy husband and wife relationship looks like. (obviously this isn't the case for everyone, I am speaking in generalities).

Culture: the media, bureaucrats, politicians, etc...they represent the Persians (I have a deep respect for Persian people, and their glorious history...again this is based on a film for the purpose of metaphor). They are coming to shape the world in their image. They have what seems like unlimited resources, they are organized, a giant mass all working towards a common goal. They promise Ephialtes a great life, better than he could ever imagine. They see how special he is and how the world has done him wrong, or so he thinks. In reality Ephialtes is just a pawn, and whatever happens to him or his well being really isn't any concern of theirs.

Father's are the 300 Spartans. They spend an exorbitant amount of their energy putting their homeland ahead of themselves. A lifetime spent in sacrifice so that their values can survive into the next generation. They love their families, their people, their home. They literally value these things more than their own lives.

You get the idea.

Sacrifice

It's funny, the inspiration for this piece. It wasn't Father's Day that initially inspired it. What inspired it was one of those goofy social media quizzes, the kind where there is a giant list of activities with point values assigned to each of them. I saw a quiz of this nature on Twitter, and the activities were places that you have traveled to. Upon quickly glancing I realized that I haven't been very many places. My second thought was that I do way too good on the quizzes about various degenerate experiences. My very next thought went to the 'why'. Why haven't I traveled more places?

I became a Father at a young age. Twenty-three to be exact. I was already married, did that young as well, and the thing is....for some reason I just always wanted to be a Dad. Another part of my reasoning was that if I became a Dad at a young age I would be able to at least enjoy the latter years of my life. My kids will all be over 18 before I am 50, not too shabby. I do not know if it will quite work out like I originally planned, my 23 year old self was much more certain of his decisions at the expense of discernment. One thing is for certain, becoming a Dad was the best thing I have ever done with my life.

Sacrifice is a lesson you learn rapidly upon becoming a Dad. You sacrifice sleep, you sacrifice recreation, you sacrifice a lot. It's a big part of the job. I remember one time my oldest son, then a child, really wanted a pair of binoculars. He had all of these grand plans for them, birdwatching being chief among them. This desire didn't abate, the binoculars siren song was just too strong for the boy. One day, in town, at the local box store he saw the object of his desires. Times were hard back then, and we didn't have very much money. I had $60 to my name, and the boy got his $50 binoculars. He is a man now, he still has them. Worth it. Being a Dad teaches you to put the people you love ahead of yourself, and this example carries over into the next generation.

Love

The first time you meet your child, it is an indescribable experience that unfortunately gets downplayed in our culture (lots of dad stuff gets downplayed in our culture, you are a fool if you think this is accidental). In an instant this little thing exist that occupies its own special kind of love. It is different than the love you have for your wife, parents, literally everything else up to that point. That kind of love changes you, it makes you a better man.

Patience

I don't have to go very far with this one, especially for you lads with young chaps. Whatever degree of patience you possessed prior to having this little ball of ID bounce into your life gets multiplied before its all said and done.

Responsibility

This is a big one innit? Hell, I never even wore a seatbelt until I realized my then wife was pregnant. The realization that this little thing is going to need you if it is going to have a chance in life. This changes you. No more hanging out late with your friends, no more going to movies and restaurants (for years). You child's school choices suck? Welcome to tuition. Sick kid? Hello doctor bills. That cute girl suddenly starts to get friendly with you, too bad your libido is not more important than your family. You will never fully understand what it means to be a man if you do not fully understand what it means to be a Dad.

I could opine about this topic all day, and I will talk more about fatherhood in the future. For now though I am exhausted, injured, and off of a 12 hour night shift. I just wanted to take the time to thank the real dad's for all that you do. You really are the line between civilization and dystopia. Look around you, what is our culture missing? Sacrifice, love, patience, and a sense of responsibility for starters. You are doing the work that needs to be done, and you do it for the right reasons. God knows that no one is going to pat you on the back for it. At any rate, this is all I have to say for now. I will talk to you Spartans later. Until next time, Jack.

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