Strength Beyond Strength

Strong AF

Its been there for as long as I can remember, my obsession with strength. Not just physical strength, although at times in my life this has consumed me, but the strength that allows us to stare down fear and push through adversity. Strength, and the outward manifestation of it, is definitely an obsession for men especially. Strength is central to most of our identities, what happens when it fails?

Change of plans

Do you feel like you have your life figured out? The path before you is relatively straightforward and you know what you want to accomplish? Sure there can always be speed bumps along the way, but that is reasonable. Have you ever had something that happened to you that can completely derail your plans? Many do, it can happen. When this happens it takes every ounce of resolve that you possess to push through to the other side. I can tell you with 100% fact, that if the trial is hard enough, you will run out of strength. It isn't an infinite resource, we cannot create our own. How do I know? Well I am not an expert, but I can tell you what I have experienced.

This is difficult subject matter for me, some of the things that I feel is beneficial to share with you guys is hard. So be patient if I have to come back to some of this later. I am working up the courage to revisit old demons.

When I was a very young man, with a young family, and a career path lined up I thought that I had it all figured out. Hubris and youth are often companions. Something happened, an injury. No big deal right? I mean up until that point no injury that I had suffered ever lingered. You get hurt, you heal, you go on about your way. This isn't always the case. We aren't promised tomorrow, in fact there are so many ways for your body to fail you hospitals literally need to hire experts to code them for billing purposes. What happens when you have an injury that no one can see? Well, that is an entirely different subject for another day.

I hurt my back, and not a moment has passed since then that I haven't been in some measure of pain. After living with this for 20 years I have picked up a lot of ways to deal with it. When I got hurt I had no idea what to do. I was not in healthcare at that time, so I didn't even have the benefit of the education/training/experience that I currently possess.

Hours turn to days, days to weeks, weeks to months. Constant pain that even medication cannot fully extinguish. Pain, grinding on my psyche. No sleep, no sex, no support from the spouse at that time, no understanding. Just the constant pain. My strength failed me, in every way possible. Chronic pain ruins lives, and it could have ruined mine. The only reason it did not is not because of any virtue I may possess, I was on empty. Done for. A shell of my former self. My life seemed over. Despair turns into depression, and then the lights go out.

CS Lewis

Brilliant man, a literary and intellectual giant. He once said " I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else". I don't know what your faith is, and it is none of my business. The issue is that I cannot go any further with my story without referencing mine, and I can't say why any better than CS Lewis already has.

The only reason that I am here today is because of the strength that I received through faith. However you conceptualize this in your worldview is fine, but in my world I had nothing left. This gets to the parts that are hard to talk about, literally only a few people know even the shadows of the world I inhabited at this time. Suffice to say that I had to make the choice to live by faith on sometimes a minute by minute basis just to get through another day. It was during this period of my life that I learned what I had previously professed to believe. It is through God's grace through Jesus Christ that I can sit here and talk to you today as a man who is blessed far more than he deserves, and living a much different life than I could see for myself during that dark time.

That is how I survived.

Takeaways

Here is the deal gentlemen. Trials are unavoidable, and they can crush even the strongest among us. These can be the most brutal test of life. The good news is that James tells us that trials remove our impurities, just like heat is used to make gold ore into pure gold. I believe that if you are going through some hard times it is because your Father has plans for you. No matter how bright we are, we don't usually know the purpose. Just the pain. My DMs are always open. Before I go I can tell you one thing for certain. Whatever you need, be it wisdom, strength, courage, ask for it. God is good. If you asked your earthly father for something that he has in abundance, he will give it to you. He is just a man. How much greater are the gifts and love from our Father who created all?

My life today is lacking nothing, my blessings are immense. I can say with certainty that had I not gone through the trials that I have endured my life would not be as good as it is now.

Stay strong lads. Better days are ahead, no matter what is going on right now. Until next time, Jack

The NFT in this piece is one of my absolute favorites, and it perfectly suits this topic. This is #9 from the Cradle of Civilization collection.