What is Your Mission

This is my 50th Sigle blog entry, and this seems like a fine subject matter for such a milestone. So lets get started.

Men need a mission

I am not trying to exclude the ladies, I just don't know what it is like being a woman. I would encourage you to read on with the knowledge that you are always welcome here. I do however know a lot about being a man, having spent near 44 years on this planet as a man. The first half of my life I was guided by my own father, in his own way, and I have spent the last half of my life raising sons.

My father was an amazing man. He came from a humble background, a dysfunctional family, and never had the opportunity to get an education. That didn't stop him from being one of the smartest people I have ever known, and achieving levels of success that conventional wisdom dictates he should not have been able to obtain. He never achieved some exorbitant amount of wealth, but by the time he was my age he did own most of his time. He worked very hard as a young man, two jobs most of the time. He made good decisions when they counted, faced adversity head on when necessary, and even outsmarted the kind of parasitical men who desire to get ahead by getting over on others. He was a good man, and I miss him. He never verbally taught me this lesson, but in retrospect I can see how his actions helped me understand the importance of having goals as a man.

In our world children have their future figured out for them into young adulthood. I still think it is odd that we as a culture make all of these decisions for these little people and then pick an arbitrary date that they are supposed to then have everything figured out. I also think that young men should have rights of passage in our culture, but this is all fodder for another day. The point is that one day you know exactly what you are supposed to be doing, then another day passes and now you have to figure this stuff out on your own. For some this proves to be quite challenging, and I think the lack of guidance at this critical time in a young mans life causes a tremendous amount of dysfunction in our society.

What do you want?

At this point this could quickly devolve into some Tony Robbins'esque/Jocko/Peterson motivational type thing, and I am just not that guy. That isn't what I want to accomplish here, and there is enough material out there from experts for you to read for the rest of your life.

What I want to focus on is the phenomena of a man's inability to reach a goal, and remain content. I learned this pretty early on. I am sure you have experienced exactly what I am talking about. If you haven't, get off your ass son, life is passing you by.

It goes something like this:

Jack wants to do A. It takes several years of personal development, drive, pain, disappointment, frustration, and then ultimately Jack succeeds. Jack then rest on his laurels for X amount of time and then all of the good feelings start to fade away. Before long Jack becomes stagnant, feelings of negativity creep in, and before you know it Jack has entered this unholy miasma of self loathing, indifference, and a bevy of other negative emotions. I remember quite vividly the first time this happened to me, one day I will write about it, but not today.

What I have learned over the years is that within a man's soul, there exist an insatiable hunger for a mission. It can be almost anything, and it cannot be ignored. I believe that this drive to conquer something, anything, is a big part of what pushes mankind forward. The other part being the desire to have a woman that desires you. This is how bridges get built and civilizations grow. Therefore, I believe that this is an inescapable part of mans spiritual/physical/emotional makeup.

So what do we do with this?

First, you accept it. You understand that no matter how happy you think you would be getting high, playing video games, ejaculating, etc. this is almost certainly a recipe for personal destruction. We just aren't built that way. It is also no accident that most women, even the most understanding among them, do not want a man who is content to live in such a way. We need to have goals, a mission.

The second thing we have to do with this is recognize that we have now gone full circle to the young man who arbitrarily has to figure out what to do with his life after 18-20+ years of having it figured out for him. So you Fathers out there...remember this as you raise your sons. Try to prepare them for this eventuality.

For you young guys reading this, I hope that this is a wake up call. What do you love? What are you passionate about? If you are young enough you shouldn't have a ton of personal responsibilities to prevent you from pursuing these loves. If you do have responsibilities, this just becomes a matter of taking your main goal and breaking it into smaller pieces. Doing this will allow you to pursue your goal while you do the things that are required to survive your day to day existence.

I will happily use myself as an example to make this more relatable. I worked very hard against some tough odds to get where I am in my profession. I have done almost everything I can do with the license I possess, and what I like to do most....I have gotten as good at it as I can. I realized recently that this has been a cause of great discontent in my life, as discussed above. Taking care of critically ill people isn't challenging for me anymore, and the only thing I have left for my profession is the empathy for the sick patients and their families. So, I need a new mission. You are watching me work towards a new goal in real time, and you will see how great I am. (gotta love Muhammad Ali). It is with this thought in mind that I sincerely thank you for reading, and I couldn't possibly have made this 50th entry without your support. I don't have anything left to say right now. Until next time, Jack.

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