The sensitive nature of sex.

“When you see something beautiful, more often than not, you don’t know why it’s beautiful. You just see it, and you have the feeling. Not a decision but a reaction.” - Rick Rubin

The quote above is how I feel about the table above. I can’t quite grasp it intellectually but I can feel it.

Where do we draw the line over what’s an acceptable level of individual expression? We’re all fallible humans and we all have a shadow/dark side. I can be incredibly emotionally immature. I wish I wasn’t but I get triggered and I project my shit onto others, especially the people closest to me…my children and husband cop it the worst. They see and experience my shadow on a daily basis.

But it was through the sexual experience that I first began to acknowledge my shadow and learn about myself. Even if in the moment, I still react immaturely to my triggers, I recognise it (I’m not even sure if that’s an improvement). It’s a bitter pill to swallow that I am fully responsible for my own triggers (and offence) as well as my own projection...and I fuck up daily…but our body is highly fucking intelligent. There is primal wisdom that goes beyond the intellect, and discovering the deep levels of wisdom found in the body, and listening to it has had a profound impact on my life, completely altered my life trajectory…and has led me to bitcoin. I still can’t fully explain bitcoin to someone, and I don’t need to in order to be able to know that it is on the path of a bright future for humanity.

I used to live a life heavily conditioned by society. I did what I was told. I followed the rules. I worked the 9-5 corporate job in the city. I sent my children to a private school because I believed that they would receive a good education, which would lead to university, which would lead to a safe, high-paying job, regardless of whether their life brought them joy…and my life itself lacked joy. Passion was completely absent and I lived in an unsustainable fight-or-flight state. I was pretty dead inside.

Sex is highly sensitive. It’s extremely taboo. I speak for myself as a woman but I feel like men are similar in that we carry a shitload of sexual shame. But it’s also sensitive biologically. For a woman, there are highly sensitive nerves connected to our womb. The more sensitive, the more we feel, which is like a double-edged sword. We feel pain at a deeper level, but we also feel pleasure, bliss, and joy at a deeper level. It’s here where our most pure expression can be discovered and where we connect to the core of who we are. The primal act of procreation is a key to our evolution, not just biologically, but emotionally and spiritually.

There is always going to be a shadow/darkness within humanity. I accept it’s within me, and it’s in you too. Our deepest, darkest, most sensitive triggers can be confronted through the sexual experience, but it also happens to be where our deepest, brightest bliss can be found, as we release the shame incrementally layer by layer.

Sex is where fear and love meet, and the wisdom that is found within the body and the sexual experience deserves a voice in this world.